(iPad) mini rant

I thought we'd be past the comparison with other couples thing. So when she does nice things it's highlighted to me. What about all the shit things she has done? What about the nice things I've done? Just cause what I do doesn't cost as much as what she does, suddenly I pale in comparison. Sorry but I don't have the kind of finances right now to do anything huge. I'm not working, haven't found a job, I'm drawing down on my savings, I don't have people to give me money, and I don't need this kind of pressure. This is why I want to set a limit for our gifts already. Because now what it boils down to is the dollar value and not the meaning behind it. Why did I get you F1 tickets? Because I wanted you to know that I pay attention to what you say. And also because it was your 21st birthday, and I wanted it to be special for you. Not because I wanted to show off or because I wanted expensive gifts in return. Judging from the way you brought up her iPad mini surprise three times in the span of one day, and even asked me to go see the story on Facebook, makes me feel like I'm a bad girlfriend. Just cause she spends money like it's free, does it make her a good person? Just cause I'm frugal, it makes me a bad girlfriend? I just blew half my savings on our trip. Mum and dad chipped in but I'm paying dad back. I don't have the luxury of thinking people will be there to support me. Not saying I don't appreciate the expensive gifts you get me. I appreciate every single gift you give me. But now it's like become "who's girlfriend can spend more on me" competition. I really feel like that. And I really feel like shit when I can't afford to get stuff for you. Especially branded stuff or gadgets. Cause you don't let me forget it.

I'll never forget the day when you sided her over me. I'll never forget.

Just because someone buys expensive gifts doesn't mean she's a good person. Just because someone does nice things occasionally doesn't make her a good person.

Call me irritating, call me fake, call me annoying. I can deal with it. I know I can't win any "girlfriend of the year" awards. But when you start comparing me to a slut, wow, just wow.

I'll never forget the times you sided her and defended her. I will never forget the times you praised her. I'll never forget.