It's me, here again when I'm supposed to be doing my assignment. I had an anxiety attack last week again. It was worse this time because I was alone on a bus and couldn't stop crying.
It's (hopefully) my last semester. I am struggling with school. I feel like I'm going crazy. In between projects and assignments and papers and revising for finals, which are 27 days away, I really feel like I'm going crazy. Like I don't feel comfortable in my own skin and everyone is watching me. Yeah, there's a condition I learnt before in psych, where you overthink that people are judging you when they actually aren't, but I honestly cannot remember it anymore. Psych seems so long ago. Anyway. It's the third last week of the semester. I am panicking every few days, but forcing myself to go to school. Because it's a vicious cycle where, if I don't go to school, I miss out on stuff. Then I panic, but the reinforcing action to avoid my anxiety is to skip school. It's really really terrible and I don't want my friends to think I'm some lazy slacker but this reinforcement of my anxiety has gone on probably since two semesters ago. Which is the start of 2012. Gosh. What am I doing with my life.
I'm supposed to be grateful for something each day and write it in my notebook, but I haven't been exceptionally consistent with it and I think that's part of the reason why there's anxiety. Because I really am a proponent of The Secret but haven't been consistent in using it. Omgosh.