Everything is really bad now. Everything relating to school, that is. Alone for most classes, projects and more projects, no motivation to even go to school, skipping classes. I have a module which I have never gone for a single lecture or tutorial. I have a module which I skipped the tutorial without knowing that there was a project. I hate this being alone part. If I were slim, if I didn't look so ugly, I would have more confidence to talk to people and be more outgoing and not be afraid to anyhow make friends. But I'm not. And this feeling is really frightening. I shouldn't be feeling like this already, how old am I? But this feeling of insecurity is like the flu, it comes and goes and when it comes, it makes me feel tired and sad and lonely.

They say that people crave company. I never realized how much I do till now. Being alone sometimes is good, when you're in the right state of mind. Being alone when you're loaded with projects with people you don't know, going to classes alone, having to cope with your boyfriend leaving for army.. That makes it all the worse.

Crying helps sometimes, but most times you just need someone there who's just going to listen to all your worries.