Movies make you wish for things that never exist. Make you wish for love, for things to magically work themselves out, etc. For guys to actually be gentlemen, guys who would do anything for the girl they love. All crap though, they just want us to believe that such things, such men exist.

That being said, sometimes I want my life to be a movie. Whatever problem people I start off at the beginning would be gone by the end, in between fall in love with a guy who would willingly pull out a chair, open a car door, respect you, listen to you talk and talk and talk without interrupting, and on top of that buy you flowers every other week. Then my life ends at the end of every movie — when everything is still happy, when they cut it off right before the sadness and anger, fights arguments disagreements heartbreaks heartaches start. I want my life to be a movie.

It's sad that though I can say that movies are totally not real, I can wistfully wish for things such as the guy that hurt me would find me and make it up to me, actually make it up to me by buying me a nice dinner somewhere, or taking me to see a sunset, or something like that. And I always find myself hoping but nothing happens. I'm taken for granted again and again and nothing changes. In movies this would be easily solved by the guy waking up to his senses one day, finding the girl at the roof of a building, hugging her, actually apologising, kissing her forehead, and then taking her by the hand and she would forgive him. Gentlemanliness is underrated. It has disappeared from this society. This is why I feel like I'm the guy, yeah. Always having to take care of everyone's shit, in turn being treated like shit, worthless shit. Pressured by everyone to be a certain way — studious hardworking naughty good high funny motherly child-like— hey thanks but I'm not into role confusion, and I'm not going to be some multiple-faced person you all clearly are comfortable with being.