Really hate the way the haze makes me feel sad and lonely. Yet it somehow invites me to immerse myself in it, bask in loneliness. But I am not lonely. Not lonely. It brings back a lot of memories. The smell makes me calm, clears my mind. Reminds me that I am alone. Hard to imagine, cause I'm surrounded by the best people who could ever exist. It's scary to think how everything has changed. Everything. That no one will be there for you forever, no one will truly bother to understand you, no one will promise to keep you safe through death. Cause no one will. No one can. It would be the ultimate promise if someone were to keep you safe from yourself, the self-destructing nature of your mind. The promise of "I love you"s is always broken. Who can keep such a promise? Would anyone even bother to attempt, prove that the promise that follows "I love you" can be kept?

I close my eyes and inhale, sadness fills my lungs and takes over my mind. It's times like these when I really need someone with me. Who would do nothing and just sit by me, hold my hand to pull me back after a while in non-reality. I'm not that simple. There's probably something wrong with my brain, but honestly, I like the way I leave reality sometimes. To my idealistic world. I'm wondering, can you tolerate with these oddities with me for the rest of my life?

Strive for more than face-value pleasure, cause all it shows is how much you actually think deeper than primary levels of happiness.

No one is going to show you their true self. Your self is too vulnerable for that. Only the people who truly deserve to know would find out. Yet not many people bother no one bothers to prove that they want to earn your respect, trust. These things take time. Which people obviously are too selfish to give up. I want a good life. I demand it. It depends on who are willing to invest the time to spend it with you, understand completely what life you are living.

I honestly think I'm too much to handle.

PLEASE STOP ME FROM THINKING SO MUCH.