I'm already dead anyway

Last night took a random bus to a place I didn't know. It was liberating, being out so late by myself. But it was really terrifying too, cause I had no idea where I was, no one knew where I was, it was past midnight and it was horribly cold. The reality of being alone really sinks in when you are surrounded by darkness and the cold. What's worse is that when I cried, the wind just blew the tears away, like they were nothing, when, on the contrary, so much was represented by those tears. Got a text, received news about something posted publicly. Heart finally froze after being cold for about an hour. Stunned beyond words. Finally tried getting a cab home from a deserted road, being so frightened by sounds coming from behind me. I now understand what it feels. To have no one care, no one know.

And now, going to do the same thing again.