Talk is Cheap

If talk is cheap, why do words hurt?

Recurrence

Back on the blog. Shall open it while I slowly delete old, meaningless rant posts.

Back to an old habit of mine - posting dreams and dream interpretations.

I keep having recurring dreams. Ones where I have to run away from people/zombies/monsters trying to kill me, or where I have to save people from abovementioned horrors.

The scary part is when I wake up but will myself back to sleep in order to go back to the dream and finish it in a satisfactory way.

Always wake up feeling so physically tired afterwards.

Last night it was a "Friday the 13th"-esque dream, trying to run away and hide from this crazy man trying to kill people. Third or fourth time dreaming about this. This time the scene was set in a hotel.

Hotel
To see a hotel in your dream signifies a new state of mind or a shift in personal identity. You are undergoing some sort of transition and need to move away from your old habits and old way of thinking. You need to temporarily escape from your daily life. Alternatively, the dream may imply a loss in your personal identity.

Murder
To dream that you witness a murder indicates deep-seated anger towards somebody. Consider how the victim represents aspects of yourself that you want to destroy or eliminate.

That's a promising start to a gloomy Monday morning. *inserts sarcasm*

NYC Day 1

To sum up Day 1 in NYC: 24h, 3 time zones, 4 meals on the aeroplane,  loving the movie Frozen (as much as the kids at the workplace), The Lord of the Rings Trilogy marathon (finally), sleeping, sleeping and more sleeping.

So far it's been like a very long, stretched out day. Very cold too. Can't wait to see New York in the day time and walk on the streets!

Till tomorrow,

Perfect Secret Garden

When I was really little, I'm talking like maybe 7 years old, I had a dream about my perfect secret garden.

Hedges just tall enough and in a maze formation, white flowers, glistening sun.. It was an image etched so deeply into my mind that I'd never forget how I felt when I had that dream.

Chanced upon a song today that makes me feel a similar way to how I felt in that dream. Strange how songs can directly correspond to a complex feeling - or is that just me? The song is "Perfect Tomorrow" by Mokhov. Awesome stuff.

3 weeks

Honestly, I haven't had the time nor inspiration to write in a long, long while.

I have started work, and though I miss carefree days of schooling (and of skipping classes), I do enjoy work. I find it easier for myself to get up and go to work than go for a 2h lesson in school. I like my work. Save for the working hours.

Although I must say, I feel like I wasted the last three years of my life. The main reason being that I am totally not applying what my hard-earned and expensive degree taught me. I really am pondering if degrees are that important if what I'm doing pays me okay even though I don't need to apply what I learnt.

I do have future plans, though. But I am afraid that they are just dreams. I want to help children who are victims of human trafficking, something I feel very strongly against. Of course now would be the best time to build up capital, when I don't need to support my family as heavily yet, but ultimately I don't know how - or where - to start.

Just some thoughts three weeks into working life.

Am I being selfish if I want to find a good-paying job that ensures my survival since I have no one to count on financially, as opposed to working with children whilst getting average pay?

I'm not anyone's "property".
I'm not an object.

Spent the whole of today to the tune of your farts. Wonderful

Can you give me another chance to be kinder, more patient, more tolerant, and less fake? I'm just afraid I'll slip back into my "soft" self. Sigh

Everything about today is so beautiful. The sky, the air, the wind.. Feeling so at peace and also feeling like it's Christmas time. Weird but whatever.. A little high now thanks to the beautiful day